Testimonials from Children
CONGRATULATIONS on making the decision to love and work on your relationship!!!!
From 2003 my parents started experiencing marriage problems; at that time I was only 5 years old. Every day their relationship worsened and the shouting got louder and louder! My mother was always away on business. I would often sit in my room crying. My sister and I would cling together so scared that this would be the end and that they would divorce like they were always saying.
Finally in January 2004 they went on Retrouvaille. After attending the Retrouvaille weekend and the post sessions my parents were different people and our house was once again a home - a place we wanted to be and where we felt safe and secure.
Six years later we as a family still use the Retrouvaille "tools".
May God bless you and keep you safe and help you to get through difficult times together.
Her sister says...
My name is Megan Allan and I am 15 years old. My parents started having problems in 2003. I at the time was 7 years old. My mother was always away on business and my sister and I spent most of our time at my Grandparents and not at our house. That was exactly what it was, a house. My parents (when my mother was at home) were always at each other's throats; the only way I knew how to stop them fighting was to break something. One of my worst memories is clinging onto my sister in the bath when my dad told me they were going to divorce.
Not long after this they signed up for the Retrouvaille program. After the weekend they seemed calmer and the fights became less. They attended each post session and continued to do some practical work each night. My sister and I would encourage them to have "their" time. Our house is now a home. A place I want to be. I often wonder what would have happened if there was no Retrouvaille.
A teenager's perspective
Hi! My name is Holly Fagan, I'm the baby of the Fagan family. My parents work with Louisville (Kentucky) Retrouvaille. First and foremost I would like to say that I truly believe in Retrouvaille and all its teachings. I always jokingly tell my parents that before I marry my future husband he has to agree to go to Retrouvaille once we are married. But in all actuality, I have a strong desire to attend Retrouvaille because I believe it can help all marriages and even strengthen the ones who are not in dire need. I have seen first hand, through my parents, the wonders that Retrouvaille works.
I can remember about nine years ago when my mom used to sleep on the couch every night. At that time I was in fourth grade and didn't understand why she wouldn't want to sleep with my dad. When I questioned her, she told me it was because the couch helped with her back problems, but I knew there was something more going on.
Our house had become just that and nothing more: a house.. not a home as it used to be. My entire family could feel the tension daily. Soon after my parents went to Retrouvaille my brother, sister, and I began to notice a considerable change in their attitude toward each other. Not only did my mom not sleep on the couch anymore, but my parents communicated with each other and us better.
Over time my parents also taught my brother, sister, and me the core principles that Retrouvaille is based upon. While there is a huge amount of Retrouvaille that I know nothing about (due to confidentiality issues), I find myself using many of its teachings regularly.
Almost all of my friends come to me for advice very often and I enjoy helping them in any way I can. In some ways I think learning about Retrouvaille and applying it to my life has helped me to become more mature than the average young adult, with a deeper understanding of what a healthy relationship constitutes.
In the past my mom has told me that several couples who attend Retrouvaille believe their struggling marriage has created an extremely negative affect on their children. Honestly, it is simply not possible for a parent's relationship not to affect their kids. However, my brother, sister, and I, and countless other 'Retrouvaille children' are the living proof that conditions can improve tremendously.
Things can improve so greatly that a 'house' begins to feel more like a 'home' once again. Even while I am away at college, I miss my family incredibly and can't wait to come 'home' to spend time with them. I am forever thankful to Retrouvaille because not only has it helped my parents, but it has helped me in more ways than I can even try to explain. The weekend is a crucial first step. However, after observing my parents and others, I can honestly attest that the true healing begins during the post sessions.
To experience Retrouvaille as the programme was designed, the post sessions are essential and I urge you to make time for them! Good Luck and God Bless!